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RACISM
A Look at My Trauma Surrounding These Two Racially Triggering Words
An external and internal perspective that confused me.
Memory is an interesting faculty. I cannot pinpoint the first time I heard neither the S-word or the N-word. The first refers to *pic (rhymes with “lick”) and is used as a derogatory label for Hispanics. The latter unfortunately has such a long history that I’m pretty sure its explanation is unnecessary.
But what I do recall about those terms are two specific instances in my young adult-hood. They were both used by men who were in my life at the time. And both men were [and obviously, still are] non-white.
Deciding to write about these experiences, I understand I am diving into a “self-triggering” arena. Still, I’d rather risk an uncomfortable story than pretend I’m ok with what happened.
This is my trauma and I am ready to confront it.
The Background History
First things first. I proudly identify as Afro-Boricua. What this means for me is that I connect more closely with my Indigenous and African roots. Boricua is how many of us refer to ourselves. It is the preferred specification instead of the other, more commonly known colonizer term, Puerto Rican.
